Blog Post

Reading for empathy this National Stammering Awareness Day

  • By EmpathyLab
  • 21 Oct, 2022

It’s National Stammering Awareness Day. Fiction can help us, in a unique way, understand the experience of someone struggling with this – for this reason we included Helen’s Rutter’s The Boy Who Made Everyone Laugh in our 2022 Read For Empathy collection. Here, author Anne-Marie Conway writes about Lily, the main character in How to be more Hedgehog. Her beautiful blog shows how the humanity and empathy of authors creates books which help us all better understand those grappling with difficult life experiences.

I first encountered Susie* (not her real name) when she was six. I had just started a new job as a Drama specialist teacher at an all-girls primary school and Susie was in Year 1. She was extremely bright, chatty and confident and she loved Drama. Susie also had a stammer. Her stammer didn’t stop her talking. On the contrary, she never stopped talking. As the Drama teacher, I got to teach Susie each year as she progressed through the school. I never thought of her as someone who had difficulty expressing herself. I only ever thought of her as someone who loved Drama and was very good at it. But then in Year 6 everything changed. The other girls in Susie’s class changed, Susie changed, and Susie’s stammer changed. I’m convinced the changes happened in this order. The other year 6 girls became more aware of themselves and of what was considered ‘cool’. They began to find Susie’s stammer embarrassing. They would become visibly uncomfortable when Susie struggled to get a word out. Susie, of course, picked up on this, and she began to feel stressed about speaking. As a result, her stammer got worse. And as a result of that, she began to withdraw, to spend more time on her own, to keep her (brilliant) ideas to herself.
This was the inspiration for How to be More Hedgehog. Lily, the main character, has a stammer. When her trusted teacher, Mrs Hansen, leaves unexpectedly, and new teacher Mr Daley takes over, everything begins to change. Mr Daley does everything fast. He throws out a question and expects an answer quick, quick, quick. Like a boomerang. The other children find him fun and exciting, but for Lily this new pace is overwhelming. She yearns for Mrs Hansen – a teacher who ‘asked a question and didn’t mind how long it took to get the answer’.

As a Drama teacher, I have been guilty of placing too much value on fluency. Children who can stand on a stage and speak clearly with confidence. Children who can express themselves and get their point across. Children who don’t get stuck. Susie taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten. It’s not how you say something that matters. The only thing that matters is whether you’ve got something important to say.

In How to be More Hedgehog, Lily runs away. She runs away from her friends who laugh at her, from the online bullies who poke fun at the way she speaks and from the class project that is giving her nightmares. But of course she soon realises that she can’t run away from herself.

Over the course of the book, Lily learns some vital lessons about friends and family and speaking out. She learns how to grow some metaphorical ‘spines’ which give the courage to face her fears head.
I learned a vital lesson too. Through teaching Susie, I learned that children can be confident without being fluent. That they must be given the space to express themselves however long it takes. And not just children who stammer. That it was my responsibility to facilitate this in my classroom. I learned to be the sort of teacher who asks a question and doesn’t mind how long it takes to get the answer.
By EmpathyLab February 17, 2025

Why has the sheer importance of empathy come to the fore in recent years? Why do we care so much about a concept that had seemed to be left to itself for so long?

                  Perhaps because there has been so much change and upheaval for our young people in recent years, leaving so many isolated from what we might term ‘real’ contact with others. Lockdown was for many a disaster. The proliferation of phones hasn’t helped. Financially stretched families are often starved of time that can be spent in casual, easy, contact with one another.

So gaining an understanding of others from fiction has become more and more important. Children have always learned from the books and stories they are offered. From the fairy tales, children who lived in an elemental world without luxuries or social safety nets learned the virtues that were so necessary back then to survival: courage, resourcefulness, endurance, quick wits, kindness to strangers.

Our own young people live more tightly under separate roofs, and we have seen the language of books change accordingly - to Mum, the babysitter, playgroup, park, baby sister, Dad’s girlfriend, the bully, happy, worried, sad. It’s the language of relationships and emotions now, and understanding and compassion liberate. They have become the twenty-first century equivalent of Hansel and Gretel’s pebbles gleaming in the moonlight to show the way out of the dark forest.

        Frank Flanagan once said good writers “structure, explain and evaluate the experience of childhood and empower the child to come to terms with it. They enable the child to lead a full life."

        How? Partly by quite unconsciously increasing self-knowledge and self-awareness. A young reader can’t help but see characters in books unconsciously as if in a mirror. "I'm not like that." "I worry about that too." "I would have been braver”, “slower to catch on”, “tempted to be more mean”. And when this sense comes of no longer being the only one in the world to have this problem, or to feel that way, the child not only comes to realise that they are not alone, but also to gather insights into how other people deal with the same worries or tackle the same problems. In short, they learn, vicariously, how other people tick.

We have so many young people who, it seems, sometimes as a result of their upbringing, often simply by nature, have somehow failed to acquire the tools to begin to think about their own situation. Through fiction they can often begin, safely, to explore the more subtle aspects of life around them - an insight into someone else's life.  A child can share desk space with someone else all year and yet learn less about them than about a character in one short book that’s read to them at night. I try to show this in my novel On the Wall , where, over the school year, Finley’s quite exceptional gift for tranquillity and self-acceptance in an anxiety-inducing world causes one fellow pupil after another to look more deeply into themselves, and learn how to rebalance their own way of thinking to become, in the process, calmer, happier, or more accepting.

We all want, for our young people, peace of mind. An excellent start is to explore Lauren Child's wonderful 'Staring into Space' project:   https://staringintospace.me/            

Then, steep them in fiction. And where better to find the best than at the EmpathyLab itself?


You can purchase Anne's book, On the Wall,  here

By EmpathyLab May 15, 2024
"If inclusion or representation is the goal, then empathy is the key to achieving it."
By EmpathyLab February 29, 2024
Ofsted have recently said that inspectors need to have more empathy. Journalists have asked politicians where their empathy is when talking about refugees or homeless people. These adults were obviously not at school when EmpathyLab started Empathy Day. But what we hope for children today is that even if they’re not seeing empathy being modelled at home, they are exposed to books in school which promote the consideration of others. The publication of the annual Read for Empathy lists supports schools aiming to develop this crucial life skill.
The collection consists of 65 books for 3-16 year olds, each chosen for its unique contribution in building young people’s empathy.

The primary collection for 3-11 year has 40 books; the secondary collection features 25 books for 12-16 year olds.
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